I'm Back

Well who would of thought that I would come back. Not me, but here I am. Life has away of changing doesn't it? since I have written before, I have become a grandma again to a beautiful baby boy(Kayden). He is precious in Gods sight and mine, or I should say ours. (my Family) He was born July 29th and he is just cute as a button.

I would like to discuss another situation that has come up recently.
I had a girlfriend named (well we will call her Cheryl, because that is her name) and we were friends for 34 years. Now let me perfectly honest I love Cheryl not in a gay or lesbian way but as a real true friend. We were like sisters in my mind, and although I did not call her everyday or sometimes for weeks or months or once I think for almost a year we did not speak. We each have are own lives and we live them, but when ever I would here about Cheryl or someone in her family or about her family I would be there for her. Like when her brother died. Or when she got married. (I have Not been to any of her weddings weird! I just thought of that) or when her first husband use to call me because she was depresses and he couldn't get her to talk, I would go over and help and try to comfort her, or just some times show up and talk for hours and hours, or I would call her and we would talk till both my ears hurt.
I have always felt that we were friends, and that I was a friend to her,then one day a couple of weeks ago she writes me this re-email (from one that I sent to her earlier) and said that I wasn't her friend any more and that I never was. She said that I should MOVE ON !! take her out of my Contact list and basically I should never speak to her again. Well obviously I was pretty shocked and hurt. So I went to her house after work to see what was going on and she basically said that she realized that I was never her friend and that she has always initiated anything we do together and that she was fine with us not being friends and WOW!!! She basically ended up saying that she doesn't want to be friends any more because I don't call her and ask her if she wants to go do something together on the weekends or whatever. Because her boyfriend has some body like that. Someone who calls him and ask him what he is doing and does he want to get together and she said I don't , and in all honesty I don't. But neither does she! so I didn't get the problem. we were never friends like that either one of us.
Now I really don't think that makes much sense. And I think that my friend is going through alot, and I didn't realize how much. But I think not being friends at all really was not the answer, and now I feel really hurt and I don't know why but I can't seem to let it go. I told her I would respect her wishes and not talk to her any more because that is what she said, she never wanted to speak to me again! But WOW! it really hurts and I don't think it was necessary. She could have just found someone who liked to do those things (I really don't have the money to shop except for necessities) and we could have remained friends. Am I being weird about this?
I am still going to be her friend but I will still respect her wishes and If she ever wants to talk again we will. But I don't know what is going to happen from here on out....
Ok! I am done with that!! Sorry just hurting here!

Thanks for dealing, Later

THE END

I HAVE DECIDED TO END MY BLOGG. NOT ONLY AM I NOT A GREAT WRITER I HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT. SORRY FOR WAISTING YOUR TIME AND ENERGY. HAVE A GREAT LIFE AND MAY GOD BE WITH YOU AND YOURS........

AND REMEBER "FROLIC IN THE SUN, DANCE IN THE RAIN, MAKE LOVE UNDER THE MOONLIGHT, AND RAISE YOUR CHILDREN IN LOVE!!

GOOD NIGHT!

COLONOSCOPY

If that doesn't get your attention nothing will. I Had to take someone special in my life to go get one of these. And I think this should be used as a means to get Prisoners/Terrorist to behave themselves. WOW! but the the bark is worst than the bite. Not only do you have to starve to death one whole day before hand but they make you drink this laxative that makes you wish you were dead already, forget the rest of it. So now you spend the entire night you know where, just so you can get up anounce to every one in the waiting room that you are getting a tube shoved up your butt by just saying "Yes I am here for a colonoscopy" ( you can literally see everyone in the waiting room start to cringe at the thought of it) then just to find out that you sleep through most of it and the worst is already over. They could have told us that before. Yeah! So you can imagine the relief when you are walking out and there is no one left in the waiting room that you saw before you went in. For some reason you don't stand quite as straight as you did when you went in. Thankfully you aren't the only one walking out.

They should have laws against medical prcedures like this one. Although I know this is better than being dead from something unseen and preventable, You still hate to someone you love go through something like this.

Have you ever seen someone you love go through a medical procedure that seems worst than the sickness it's self?

Better Late Than Never

I know that it has been forever since I have written. I have recently been to Written.Inc, Carmi Levy and if you have not been to his site you should. He is not only funny, smart, and totally up to date on all the latest gadgets, he takes the best pictures I have seen in a long time. He has also inspired me to start taking pictures myself. So Carmi if you come back to my site, please! if you don't mind can you suggest a camera for a new beginner? I would really appreciate it. Thanks for the advice also on the "if you don't know what you want to write about don't start a blogg". Makes total sense to me. And as you can see I have not a clue.
But I would like to say that I am now 40 yrs old and turning 40 has changed my life. I thought how depressed I would be when I turned 40 but I don't feel that way at all. It is empowering, and has made me feel like finally now I have total control of my life. (why do I feel this way now, no clue but I do and I love it!!) I think my blogg should be about something that means some thing, and not about me, for I don't think I am that interesting or self centered. So I will blogg again soon til then, Frolic in the sun, Dance in the rain, Make Love under the moonlight, and raise your children in Love.

I know all of you gals out there know who Oprah Winfrey is and probably all you guys too, but I was reading a book she wrote called "What I know for sure" it is not only informative but educational to all women in my opinion. But my point is she said a quote from the bible "the truth shall set you free" in reference to knowing yourself and visa versa. I have thought about that all night now, and I realized that I don't know myself very well. I have lived my life one day at a time and now time truely is passing me by and I still don't have a clue as to where or what I want. And I also realized that I have spent my life looking for others to define me. I mean who am I if not my sons mother or my mothers daughter, my boyfriends girlfriend. I think now how pathetic am I. So I started to think "OK then who am I, what do I want? My conclusion is I don't KNOW! Still pathetic. So now I am going to try to figure that out, I mean now when I think of it maybe knowing means I will have to start to take responsibility for who I am and what I will become, and what if when I look in that mirror I don't like who I see and if I don't do I have the courage to change. I think I always blame others for me not taking resposibility for my own actions or my own life, always using others as the reason I don't change.(Example: Like my boyfriend won't let me do that or go there so I can't) therefore putting the blame on him instead of myself. Like why not just say I don't want to or say I am too chicken that he will leave me and OH! what will or would I do then. Maybe that is it I am too chicken to get out there and find out what I could be or could do with my life if only I would get my Butt off that couch....
OK enough about that.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Muddly

First Day

Well I have finally did it! I have started a blog and boy are you all going to wish I hadn't LOL.
I really thought it would be harder but it wasn't. So now how to get startd?

I guess I will start by talking about me, yeah! I have one son who I adore, A granddaughter who is 16 months old and the most precious thing on this entire Planet. And YES I know everyone says that about there grandchild but so WHAT! it is true. She is the most precious. And I LOVE HER! I have a man I have been with for 20 yrs and YES that does say 20 years. We have lived together for 8 of those yrs and although it has been rocky we are surviving. I think when two people go through as much as we have in the last 20 yrs together, it hopefully makes us stronger, or tears us apart and right now I don't think we know which one. But for now we are holding on to each other and that is ok, for now.

I have a job and I like it and it likes me. And YES I will talk about my job on this site but only the good things for now. I work with alot of great people here and I know alot of people can't say that but it is a good company. I will however not mention the name of the company for that just would not be cool.(plus I may want to talk about them later,lol)

well enough for now I will post again.